Resolution Schmesolution

So it's that new year's time.  And I'd just like to point out that 2012 started off with my grandmother having a seizure, so I'm not in the most festive and happiest of new year moods.  But that aside (She's fine), everyone keeps talking about their resolutions.  I resolved a long time ago not to make resolutions.  Haha!  No, but seriously, I suck at keeping goals or resolutions alive.  I mean, I even tried one year to make a resolution all dramatically Scarlett O'Hara style, against a big backdrop, fists in the air, I would never do that again.

All of my resolutions last to about Epiphany.

I'm not resolved to anything, but I am making an effort to stop droping the F bomb at least 5 times an hour, minus the time I'm at school.  Miraculously, I manage not to use the f-word amonst my kindergarteners.  I chalk this up, not to will power (i have zilch) but to divine intervention.

Anyway, every single person I know who did resolve, made some stupid resolution about eating better.  Eating better.  Here's the deal, yo.  Do you have any idea how many prophecies and predictions there are about the world coming to an end in 2012?  I don't put much credence into the prophecies and predictions.  I do, however, know how the human machine works.

So it's not only possible that some crazy people hopped up on end-of-the-world panic might take people out in their frenzy, it's probable.  And while I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm going to die a virgin, I refuse to be that person who loses all this weight, is healthy (albiet miserable with the lack of choclate in her life) and then gets knifed in the back when some douche tries to hold up a gas station for the beer or the toilet paper.  I will not go to my grave thinking "I wish I'd had more dessert."

If I were to resolve to eat better, it would read like "I resolve to include more dairy and awesomeness to all my dishes."

The problem lies in all the people around me who want to eat better.  So I can't count on them to eat my ganache filled cupcakes.  SO... I'm expanding my culinary experimentation.

I'm going to attempt delicious cupcakes that are better for you.  That way, when people go "I can't, I'm watching what I eat" I can respond with "Oh, no this is a healthy option cupcake."

I know a lot of people have blogs stating they have "healthy" cupcakes.  There are even blogs dedicated to ::shudder:: vegan options.

I'm 100 percent behind gluten-free options, but I just can't ever make anything labeled "Vegan."  When volunteer to stop being the top of the food chain, we might as well roll over and let the lions munch down.

I digress.  I know there are a million blogs dedicated to healthy cupcaking, but they're mostly written by people who eat "healthy" food.  I'm not knocking that, I'm just saying, if someone who eats Vegan tells me something is delicious, I don't buy it.

There's a reason behind that.  I ate a vegan cookie once, after a coworker blindesided me with it, swearing it was delicious and so good for me, and the best thing she'd ever eaten.  The damn thing tasted like cat puke smells.  I ate a dog cookie once, on a dare, and in comparrison, it was phenomenal.  And it was intended for a dog.

So I'll create/search/bake these healthier option cupcakes.  And I'll taste test them.  And if a chubby foodie tells you it's tasty, you can believe it. 

That is all.

and aren't you glad you learned some of that stuff about me?  I know I am.